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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446465">The Olive Branch</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KJGooding/pseuds/KJGooding'>KJGooding</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Deep Space Nine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s06e16 Change of Heart, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:53:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446465</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KJGooding/pseuds/KJGooding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>While at odds with Julian and Worf over fertility treatments, Jadzia receives news she must train another Initiate - far from what she had in mind for a new addition to the family.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Nine Lives Zine</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Olive Branch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jadzia arranged the appointment with a sense of gleeful anticipation rising in her chest.  It evolved into a rare moment of nervousness, as she sat down across the room from Julian, watched him drag equipment in and out, listened to him make notes in her chart.  Then he pulled his chair in close, put his hand reassuringly on her thigh, and gave his verdict.  The whole affair concluded in a sob, and her voice cracking apart in her throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘no?’</span>
  </em>
  <span>” she demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would strongly advise against it,” he said, calm as ever.  “The Trill reproductive system is notoriously, um - </span>
  <em>
    <span>finicky -</span>
  </em>
  <span> even in </span>
  <em>
    <span>intra-</span>
  </em>
  <span>species relations.  In this case, you’d be setting yourself up for an immense amount of discomfort, and I just can’t see it ending in anything other than ectopic pregnancy, which is dangerous enough.  Exposing Klingon cells to </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>beyond your monotremic uterus - in the most ideal, controlled conditions - would </span>
  <em>
    <span>inevitably </span>
  </em>
  <span>lead to internal bleeding and organ failure.  I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> sign my name to any of that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, and I imagine it would work with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Human cells</span>
  </em>
  <span>, wouldn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julian tipped his head sideways, and removed his hand as if her skin scorched him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  And that isn’t imagination, that’s my </span>
  <em>
    <span>professional opinion</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia watched his hand as it took on the unfortunate burden of all Julian’s pride and egotism, trembling and making a fist.  How fitting - how </span>
  <em>
    <span>irritating</span>
  </em>
  <span> - for him to be confident and unaffected while delivering the worst news of her lives. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There must be </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>you can do, Julian,” she said, trying to capture his ego for herself, just to feed it.  “I’ve seen you find an answer for almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and you-- you might be a perfect </span>
  <em>
    <span>professional</span>
  </em>
  <span> now, but you aren’t being a very good friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you feel that way,” he said flatly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So… that’s it?  You can’t come up with </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>that might help me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked her right in the eye, and scowled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>engineer a child for you in a laboratory.”  He gritted his teeth and went on, “don’t you see why that might make me uncomfortable?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt a tear welling up in the corner of one eye, bitter and burning, but she refused to let them fall.  Meanwhile, Julian cleared his throat, and bolted up from his seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we’re finished here; I have other patients to see.  Good afternoon, Jadzia.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked out.  At last, she let the tear fall, along with her face into her hands, as she doubled over and gasped with all the pain of a woman with a knife in her back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She went home to commiserate with Worf, but found little comfort.  Bizarrely, his first instinct was to support Julian’s sense of duty.  Then, he apologized for not being familiar with how ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>frail’ </span>
  </em>
  <span> Trill women were.  Jadzia bit her lip and said nothing.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went on to say he had no desire to hurt her, Jadzia insisted he had never hurt her before and she would never let him… and their communal breakfast dissolved into them each drinking raktajino alone, at opposite ends of the cabin, after the carafe had gone cold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she was getting dressed, Benjamin commed her.  She sighed and pressed her badge, irritated that she was a mere two seconds late for work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dax here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Old Man,” Benjamin soothed her fears, “I have a summons here for you, from the Symbiosis Commission.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Summons…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something about ‘accepting your duty as a Preceptor,’” he went on.  “I haven’t opened the file.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, great,” she groaned.  “I’ll be right there.  I need to stop by the Infirmary, first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take your time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She ended the call and marched off to the Infirmary, with every intention of leaving again as quickly as possible.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julian was seated at his desk, proofreading a study before submitting it to Starfleet Medical, when Jadzia arrived.  He glanced up, mouth agape, ready to make an apology, but Jadzia spoke first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t call the Symbiosis Commission, did you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to consider the question for several seconds; it was absurd. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, of course I didn’t.  What’s the matter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julian rose gradually from his seat, and - with some caution - rested his hands on her shoulders.  She seemed near the verge of tears again; this time, he was determined to be a better friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it something I can help with?” he continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia looked at the floor, sighed, and shook her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m sorry.  Of course you wouldn’t call them just to keep me away from Worf.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?  No, I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> do that.  What is it they’re having you do, exactly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re sending me a Preceptee.  That’s a final-year Initiate--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what a Preceptee is, my Nurses have to-- sorry.  Go on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“--and the idea is they stay and observe me for a few months, and use everything they’ve learned in their formal request for a symbiont.  They have to </span>
  <em>
    <span>live with me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that… certainly would keep you occupied.  But it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>exciting</span>
  </em>
  <span>, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia did not laugh, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but she snorted, and felt the weight of her stress begin to slip down from her shoulders.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exciting,” she repeated, smiling in spite of herself.  “I guess it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julian mirrored the smile with ease, and pressed his hands down to further illustrate his point.  Sometimes, he found it best to say nothing at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never change,” Jadzia said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Julian blinked back at her, as if clicking the shutter on a camera, locking the moment away in his memory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only if you won’t, either,” he said.  “I cherish our friendship.  Even when you’re being </span>
  <em>
    <span>stubborn</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t the one saying </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Renewed by this playful conflict, Jadzia swatted his hands down and giggled as she said goodbye and left for Ops.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oddly - as she shared with Julian over a late-night coffee in the wardroom - Worf expressed more defeat at the news of their forthcoming visitor than at their inability to have children.  Their drinks were warm, and they sat close together, mistakenly brushing their feet against one another beneath the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He won’t accept that it’s your sworn duty to train the next class of Hosts?” Julian teased.  “Even when he accepts it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>duty to give you medical advice?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia swirled her cup around with a flick of her wrist, and stared down into her </span>
  <em>
    <span>raktajino, </span>
  </em>
  <span>watching the froth and flecks of cardamom as they settled.  It did not provide the inspiration she had hoped for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Klingons</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she remarked.  “</span>
  <em>
    <span>They’re </span>
  </em>
  <span>stubborn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Julian shrugged, “I’m sure he’ll warm up to the idea.  And then when the two of you are ready, we can discuss surrogacy, or artificial m--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When we’re ready,” Jadzia repeated, to end the conversation on neutral terms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Personally, I’m looking forward to meeting your Preceptee.  Have you gotten their name, yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>all  </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’ve gotten.  It’s Ensign Tigan,” Jadzia said.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Tigan</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Julian repeated, to imbue the name with mystery and idealism - altogether the opposite of Jadzia’s seasoned neutrality. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get too ahead of yourself.  I still think this is punishment for that number I did on Arjin.  Or maybe they heard about the incident with Lenara Kahn…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, Julian resigned his romanticism. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” he said.  “I would see it more as a peace offering - they’ve heard about those incidents and they still find you a valuable instructor.  Personally, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved </span>
  </em>
  <span>my time as a resident.  And I think you and I have enough in common for me to believe you’ll love it, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia had no intention of falling asleep in the wardroom, but her mind was heavy with dissonant thoughts, and the headrest of her chair felt more comfortable than her bed at home had, lately.  Julian adjusted the climate control to her preference, left an alarm set on her PADD, and stepped out of the room so she could sleep undisturbed for a few hours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The alarm tone was soft, but sufficient.  Jadzia stretched her arms backward and rolled her neck forward, and asked the PADD for the current time, stardate, and schedule.  Part of her wished the previous exchange had come from a dream, but the rest of her conceded to the PADD’s announcement: </span>
  <em>
    <span>receive Ensign Tigan from the Docking Ring at 0900</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stood and cast a friendly gaze down at her coffee cup; somehow, it had been left full for her.  It accompanied her on her journey to the Docking Ring, where she had a date with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Destiny</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  She heard Julian’s voice saying the human phrase in her head, but it seemed apt, as she stood in the little cluster of anxious crewmen who waited to see their friends and family disembark from the </span>
  <em>
    <span>USS Destiny.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>Federation ships came and went with great regularity during war-time, bringing reinforcements and reuniting grieving relatives, so it took Jadzia longer than she expected to find the correct dock.  The area was crowded, and she could not access the ship’s crew manifest prior to its landing; her signal was jammed alongside many others, trying to do the exact same thing.  Since she was not anxiously awaiting a casualty report, she waited her turn, and took solace in standing with her hands behind her back, PADD and comm-badge disengaged, watching passengers step off the ship one by one.  Faintly, she could hear the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Destiny’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>impulse engines beginning to whir; had she missed her connection?  Was there some poor young Initiate wandering around the station, all alone?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frantic, she turned and sought one of the nearby computer screens.  Now that there was no demand, she could call up the crew manifest.  Perhaps she misspelled the name, perhaps--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia felt a soft tapping on her shoulder, and spun around from the monitor.  Her tied-back hair moved at a slight delay, slithering and draping over her shoulder like a snake.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A young Trill was looking up at her, with wide-set, pixie-bright eyes, and a tight, awestruck smile on her face.  Her complexion was similar to Jadzia’s, so she assumed this young woman came from the same region; elsewhere, Trill were born with darker eyes and lighter hair and reddish spots, like Lenara-- it would not do her any good to start making comparisons to past wives.  Jadzia scolded herself and stared back at the young woman, expectantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, your hair is </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” the young woman said.  “You must be Commander Dax.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On cue, Jadzia extended her hand, and the young woman shook it, firmly.  Her own hair was much shorter, much finer, so Jadzia could understand the appreciation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, I am,” she grinned.  “And you’re Ensign Tigan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Commander,” she said, with everything in her tone and posture conveying an eagerness to please.  “Ezri Tigan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect.  I’m Jadzia.  Are you ready to get started?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia anticipated the nod and the ‘yes, Commander-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jadzia</span>
  </em>
  <span>,’ and finally, the rules of her new assignment were clear to her.  As she had done all throughout her Joined career, she felt two contrasting roles come to balance each other, inside her thoughts and actions.  So while she reached out and respectfully offered to carry Ezri’s suitcases for her - one in each hand - a not-so-small part of her remembered when </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>had been the nervous Initiate, trying to prove she could do everything right the first time.  That was untrue - of anyone - but it would not hurt to let Ezri realize this on her own, over the course of the following months.  Jadzia smiled privately at this, and announced their first stop would be the Infirmary.  As a long term resident of the station, and as a Federation officer, it was Ezri’s responsibility to submit her medical history to the new facility. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her determination and preparedness was </span>
  <em>
    <span>charming</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Jadzia thought, as she watched Ezri sort through her jacket pocket for a particular data-rod, which held the files in question.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a very good idea,” Ezri said.  “Oh!  And I wanted to ask, does your Infirmary have a counselor?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Outwardly, Jadzia made sure her expression was free of judgement, although in reality the question surprised her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  Do you need one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  I am one,” Ezri said, in much the same cadence.  “Or I’m training to be.  I’m two years into my doctorate in psychology.  I wanted to do my Preceptorship first, though, once I saw </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> were available…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a big fan?” Jadzia said, jokingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Ezri replied, in complete seriousness.  “In all my studies, I’ve never seen a mind as </span>
  <em>
    <span>interesting </span>
  </em>
  <span>as Dax’s.  I was already working on a biographical profile on it when your name came up in the program openings… I knew I had to apply.”</span>
</p><p><span>“Hmm,” Jadzia chuckled to herself.  “Well, don’t be offended if I need to make some changes to that</span> <span>biography.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“I would </span>
  <em>
    <span>love that</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Ezri chirped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their easygoing conversation continued as Jadzia led the way to the Infirmary.  Ezri’s faith in her boosted her confidence past its normal level, and she strode past the registration area right to Julian’s desk, focusing down on him like a falcon in the dive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She splayed her fingers over his shoulder, then retracted them like a claw, and he turned around, gasping in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Good morning</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With his full attention, she put both hands on his shoulders, dipping her fingertips beneath the edge of his uniform, making him shiver. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Jadzia, what can I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do for you</span>
  </em>
  <span>--?” he began, trying to sound as if this was ordinary.  And, as far as Jadzia was concerned, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julian, this is Ezri.  Ezri, this is Dr. Bashir, our CMO.  You can leave your files with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obediently, Ezri offered the data-rod she had prepared, and Julian took it to insert in his computer.  </span>
</p><p><span>“...thank you,” he said, trying to divide his attention equally between Ezri and his keypad.  He could complete any typing task with a blindfold on, of course, but he did not want to seem impolite, nor too</span> <span>forward. </span></p><p>
  <span>“Oh, thanks for the raktajino,” Jadzia said, while she watched him and knew </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly </span>
  </em>
  <span>what he was doing.  “I really needed that, this morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>morning,” Julian observed, laughing slightly.  “I remember setting your alarm at </span>
  <em>
    <span>approximately…</span>
  </em>
  <span> 0109 hours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Show-off,” Jadzia remarked.  “No, I meant when I woke up.  That was nice, </span>
  <em>
    <span>thank you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri nudged Jadzia’s shoulder, and spoke quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Is this your husband?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she asked.  “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I remember reading you’d married an alien earlier this year, I--</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your </span>
  <em>
    <span>husband</span>
  </em>
  <span> left it for you,” Julian replied, delighting in the confused pout that twisted its way over Ezri’s lips, soft and unaccustomed to the expression as they were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Jadzia sounded genuinely surprised.  “No, my husband is a Klingon.  Worf.  Julian’s human.  And single… as far as I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for the reminder, yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ezri’s working on her degree in psychology,” Jadzia added some fuel to the fire; she and Julian were well practiced at introducing each other to potential partners, over the years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fantastic!  I’ve been putting in requests for a therapist and team of social workers for </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span> - we’re in </span>
  <em>
    <span>dire </span>
  </em>
  <span>need of them, especially </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  We’ve had a Bajoran liaison officer help with home placements for their orphans and refugees, but these people need consistent </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and it isn’t always something </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>can fix.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right,” Jadzia returned to her teasing tone, “he can’t fix </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  But he comes close."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julian gave a single, nervous chuckle, and brought himself to smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m looking forward to working with you,” Ezri said, finally taking his hand.  The Federation was full of humans, and the greeting occurred almost naturally to her, </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost</span>
  </em>
  <span>; it was Julian’s grin that compelled her to follow through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, your hands are </span>
  <em>
    <span>warm</span>
  </em>
  <span>-- his hands are warm,” she observed, turning to Jadzia, running everything she said past her new teacher for approval.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>-- I hope that’s alright--” Julian could not decide which was best. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome, it’s fine, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Ezri replied, in quick succession. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simple as it was, watching the other two smile at each other made Jadzia smile.  She felt compelled to set one hand on each of their shoulders, touching Julian with cool familiarity and Ezri with hopeful friendship.  Of all Jadzia’s strengths, including those Dax had perfected over centuries, her </span>
  <em>
    <span>own </span>
  </em>
  <span>most valuable was the ability to be a friend.  She was welcoming, accepting, steadfast, and willing to forgive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This thought brought her comfort, and while she </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>Julian did not share the telepathic link she did with her symbiont, she looked at him and hoped he felt it, too. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I forgive you, can you forgive me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?  She thought.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adjusting to life with a Preceptee was less of a chore for Jadzia than it was for Worf.  The only time they had truly to themselves was the evening Ezri agreed to a date with Julian.  Worf used this time to express resistance to change and intrusions, while Jadzia took a long bath and tried to relax on their bed with a book she’d been meaning to read.  He rightfully addressed the fact they had only been married several station-standard weeks, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>beginning </span>
  </em>
  <span>to build their own domestic routine, only to have it trampled on by an unwelcome guest.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s like a student, almost a </span>
  <em>
    <span>child</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me, and once I’ve taught her the lesson she needs, she’ll move on,” Jadzia countered.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not see her that way,” Worf was firm.  “There is hardly room for two of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you mean that,” Jadzia did not want to argue.  “Don’t tell me </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ve never mentored anyone in Klingon tradition.  Just try and make a connection with her while she’s here, and then she’ll be gone before you know it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Worf growled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Now</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jadzia said, stopping to affectionately press her hand into his before moving toward the cabin door, “I have to go pick her and Julian up from the holosuite.  They must’ve lost track of the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” said Worf, indeterminately.  “I will see you </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>again on the docking ring.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that sarcasm?  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Humor</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” she teased, but Worf remained quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia shrugged and departed, looking forward to spending a few minutes with Ezri and Julian, alone.  The three of them, with the addition of Miles, had an exploratory mission on their docket for the afternoon.  They outfitted the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rubicon </span>
  </em>
  <span>to observe a subspace anomaly, while Worf and the rest of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Defiant’</span>
  </em>
  <span>s complement would tow them safely through it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even with the tractor beam severed and their ship shrinking, Jadzia could not count the mission as anything but successful.  It was nice to have Ezri for company, while Miles and Julian boarded the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Defiant </span>
  </em>
  <span>to aid in rescue efforts.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think this’ll have any lasting effect on Dax?” Ezri asked, always ready to take notes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t say for sure; we haven’t observed a size differential quite like this one, before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But all of the transporters on the runabouts and the station were modified just for you, since the standard-issue ones have trouble re-creating both entities in the correct single-pattern arrangement...?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right.  Unfortunately, the transporter isn’t going to be able to resize me, right now.  Once we figure out how to get back to normal, I’ll see Julian for a full checkup, symbiont and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Ezri said, softly.  Then she pinched two fingers together, leaving barely any space between them, “You wouldn’t want Dax </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>size, swimming around in there.  It could get into real trouble.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More than usual, you mean,” Jadzia replied.  “But thank you.  I hadn’t really thought about it; I’ve stopped thinking about Dax as anything less than ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>me’</span>
  </em>
  <span> years ago.  I’m glad you’re here to remind me that I’m not invincible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri mumbled something about invincibility coming up in all of her studies - both of Dax and as an aspiring counselor.  Some people needed to believe in it more - like it was some fairytale they lost interest in after their childhood, along with all their self-esteem.  Others had too much of it, put themselves in danger, and then needed to be built back up as a result. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Julian will be able to fix it, if anything’s wrong,” Ezri decided.  “It’s almost like we take turns.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Indeed, since Ezri’s curiosity and kindness alone could not ensure Dax was healthy when they got back to DS9, Jadzia went in for an examination.  Ezri sat patiently at her side, continuing to fill her PADD with notes about the symbiont’s physiology.  Julian explained his procedures in ways unheard of on the Trill homeworld, and Ezri eagerly took down every word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the verdict?” Jadzia asked, when all his tests were finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since their last appointment had gone so sour, Julian sat down on his rolling chair with trepidation, and slowly steered it to Jadzia’s bedside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will clear you for light duty,” he said.  “Dax experienced as much physical shock as the rest of us, but it lacks the perception to know, </span>
  <em>
    <span>for itself</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that everything is back to normal.  It relies on </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>to see that and interact with your surroundings, so I imagine it will heal at a slight delay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s injured?” Jadzia asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri looked up from her PADD, eyes dark and somber. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s in shock.  So were we, when we first returned to normal.  We’re just better at processing it, since we have more physical senses at our disposal.  Dax doesn’t have a sense of sight or hearing; it will take longer for Dax to be sure everything is alright.  That’s all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> sure--” Jadzia began.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julian slid his seat backward, and turned around to type at his computer station. </span>
</p><p><span>“That may be,” he said, working to keep his tone gentle, “but sometimes I think you forget you’re carrying that symbiont around all the time.  It can be vulnerable even when </span><em><span>you</span></em><span>, Jadzia,</span> <span>are not.  So, I’ll clear you for standard shifts at Ops, routine patrols to and from any Bajoran satellites, and lifting five kilograms or less.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“Five kil--?!  You would’ve been just as annoying if I </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>been pregnant, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably,” Julian admitted.  “You’ll keep an eye on her, won’t you, Ezri?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A week later, Ezri felt she had failed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri was sitting at Jadzia’s side in the humid depths of the Soukaran jungle, sobbing and pressing her hands to Jadzia’s chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In addition to the medications Julian had prescribed to help Dax regain its strength, Ezri now had to counteract the effects of a malicious anticoagulant with plasma transfusions.  Hoarsely, Jadzia thanked her for her patience, and for having the good fortune of graduating more recently from the Academy; as an Ensign to Jadzia’s Lieutenant Commander, Ezri had a fresher memory of Federation first-aid courses.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt like she was intruding, as she tried to remain a few paces behind Worf and Jadzia, listening to them talk about their failed honeymoon plans and their two months of marriage.  She stayed quiet, kept guard, and watched life-readings fluctuate on her limited-range tricorder.  But, in the end, Worf stacked his hand over hers - in turn, over Jadzia’s - and told her he was grateful for her company on this fateful mission. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She will be in good hands,” he said.  “There is only so much I can do for her.  I am not a Trill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri thought about her role in controlling confidence, regulating its growth differently for each individual she interacted with.  Worf, despite his outward tenacity, needed a boost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She kept her hand still and let him hold it as long as he liked.  It would not be long; his task was urgent, and Jadzia’s hand was beginning to tremble beneath Ezri’s, cracking the foundation of the ceremonial stack they had made. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve done </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> you can,” Ezri reminded Worf, as he prepared to head further into the jungle, alone.  “We’ll be safe here until you get back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steadied by Ezri’s assurances, he left her in charge of Jadzia’s wellbeing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She remained at Jadzia’s side while Worf went to find their Cardassian informant.  He anticipated the rest of the exchange taking another 45 hours, and Ezri adjusted her PADD to give reminders for each transfusion Jadzia would need.  Supplies would be rationed toward the end of the timeframe, unless Ezri could figure out how to extract her own and act as a natural donor.  Replicated plasma was not nearly as efficacious, but her basic field triage courses had not taught anything as intricate as preparing herself for an intravenous extraction with limited supplies.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish Julian was here,” she said, to break the tension. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish that, too,” Jadzia echoed.  “As you saw, Worf isn’t much of a doctor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s doing what he can,” Ezri tried to smile, making a silent apology before pressing her hands tightly against the sopping bandage on Jadzia’s belly.  “No one’s got a crew full of Julians--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s one of a kind.  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nnnhh--</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Jadzia winced.  “H-how was your date?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>fun,” Ezri used her enthusiasm to try and disguise Jadzia’s pain, for both their benefits.  “He has this new holoprogram… we got dressed up and he showed me all of these games from Earth in the 1960s, we saw a musician-- hang on, you’re bleeding again...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri shuffled their positions, propping herself against a barren tree trunk and carefully pulling Jadzia to rest in her lap, bracing Jadzia’s arms against her folded legs.  Delicately, Ezri arranged Jadzia’s fingers to rest over her knees, saying she could grip harder if she needed to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It seems like the rate of blood loss is slower when you aren’t lying flat,” she explained.  “I know it hurts to sit up… I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I have another wish?” Ezri remarked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?  I wish that was true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish I didn’t have anything to be sorry for.  But since I’ve gotten here, it seems like all we’ve done is get into trouble.  And as long as I’m around you can’t… plan your family… you </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>got married.  I’m intruding.  And </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t the reason I got shot,” Jadzia said, urging her exhausted mouth into a smile, panting as she did so.  “Three of them, three of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri sighed, unconvinced.  She felt strange, trying to extract comfort from the situation - but Jadzia was her mentor, and a very good one.  Ezri felt Jadzia’s grip tightening over her knee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s how life goes,” Jadzia went on, breathing heavily.  “The whole station has been getting into trouble since </span>
  <em>
    <span>way </span>
  </em>
  <span>before you got here.  And I don’t think we’ll be having kids, anyway… it’s got nothing to do with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want to pry…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Julian said it isn’t feasible unless we use a surrogate.  That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>what I wanted to hear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hang on - I need to give you another transfusion,” Ezri noticed a blinking notification on her PADD.  “Hold still.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri prepared the hypospray and released it, causing Jadzia to sigh in time with the changing pressure in her abdomen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>cold</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jadzia laughed weakly.  “Even for a Trill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri pressed her hands to the bandage again, smoothing over it and hoping to give relative warmth and comfort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think… Worf and I are ready for that, anyway…” Jadzia continued mumbling while Ezri held her still.  “I know you haven’t known me very long but... you know I can be </span>
  <em>
    <span>impulsive</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  Worf didn’t seem as interested as I was, but… it isn’t Julian’s fault.  I’ve been kind of… hmm - </span>
  <em>
    <span>cold </span>
  </em>
  <span>- to him, about it…” she trailed off into tears.  “He didn’t want me to be in pain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh,” Ezri soothed her.   “No one wants </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia whimpered, but Ezri would not let her fall asleep.  She continued recounting her date with Julian, then every detail she had learned in her Preceptorship so far, begging Jadzia to disprove some of the more surprising facts she had read about Dax.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know the way to my heart,” Jadzia’s voice was crushed nearly to a whisper.  “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> gossip.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri did her best to keep talking, only stopping to force Jadzia to drink fortified water and take her transfusions.  She wished she could reach into her own veins for the sustenance Jadzia needed, but she stayed still and did what she knew how to do: she gave comfort until Worf returned, as promised, with the Informant’s word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as they reached the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shenandoah</span>
  </em>
  <span>, they placed Jadzia in a stasis chamber.  Worf piloted the ship home while Ezri sat motionless by her side, one hand respectfully cupping the glass, aligned with Jadzia’s cheek.  Throughout the journey, she and Worf recorded frantic messages for the station, urging Julian to prepare for the incoming trauma, and assuring Benjamin that the mission was technically successful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benjamin shared their concern for Jadzia, and made the official promotions discreetly and digitally, not willing to pull Ezri away from Jadzia’s side even for a moment.  He had procured an honorary medal for her bravery and commitment to her superior officer - Worf was receiving a contrasting one for his commitment to the objective - as well as a hollowed-black pip to signify her promotion to Lieutenant, Junior Grade.  Additionally, Benjamin was prepared to offer her a full-time position on the station - a counselor was sorely needed, as Julian had repeatedly said in the past.  Her Preceptorship term was nearly over, but it seemed Jadzia’s declining health would preclude Ezri from finishing on time.  Benjamin wanted to make sure she had all the time she deserved, and if she could offer her services to the rest of the station’s inhabitants, it was a personnel requisition he was happy to write. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri waited as long as she could at Jadzia’s bedside - crowded there along with Worf and Julian, hard at work.  Jadzia was resting comfortably, induced in another stasis field, while Julian made blood and plasma transfusions of a larger volume than the hypospray could safely cover while they had been in the jungle.  Ezri watched him with wide, reddened eyes, as he paced around the perimeter of the stasis field and stared down at Jadzia’s wound.  Without the thin gauze covering Jadzia’s wound, Ezri could see the full effect of the Jem’hadar phaser burn.  Oozing crimson lines painted her whole midsection, zigzagging over her ribcage and over the symbiotic nerve system inside.  Julian had a choice to make; Ezri could see the calculating expression on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to act as a live donor,” Ezri said pleadingly, “but I didn’t know how t--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To her surprise, Worf was the first to quiet her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your task was completed honorably.  You kept her alive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Lieutenant Tigan,” Julian said, having read Sisko’s personnel report within the minute it was published, “you may still get that chance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need more plasma?” She was skeptical. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not quite.  I believe what we need is… a </span>
  <em>
    <span>surrogate</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  Jadzia?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lowered the intensity of the stasis field, leaned down, and took her hand in his.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you hear me, Jadzia?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri watched his eyes repeatedly trace the widest of the gashes, where the beam had made impact.  It splintered into a dozen thinner lines, stretching up beneath the modest covering bound over Jadzia’s chest.  With great effort, Jadzia pried her chapped lips apart, and said ‘yes.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re in stasis,” he explained, “I haven’t closed your wound yet.  I would rather not anaesthetize Dax, since it’s still healing from the last mission.  Both of you are competing for the same precious resources, and I would prefer to give each of you my </span>
  <em>
    <span>full </span>
  </em>
  <span>attention.  That would mean continuing to sedate you, Jadzia, and - if you consent to it - moving </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dax </span>
  </em>
  <span>to a temporary surrogate, where it can recover all of the nutrients it needs, from a healthy donor.  That way it won’t continue exhausting </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> immune system.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri and Worf turned to look at him, with vastly different expressions of shock.  Of course, Jadzia was in shock as well, but she was numbed by a variety of medications.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never </span>
  <em>
    <span>a-apologized</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jadzia’s voice was faint.  “For those </span>
  <em>
    <span>awful </span>
  </em>
  <span>things I said to you, Ju--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh, save your strength,” he urged.  “I could’ve been… more understanding.  And for that, I’m sorry, too.  Now--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I trust you,” Jadzia mumbled.  “But I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  I remember last time-- I didn’t know who I was anymore, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>were with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.  I was scared, too,” recalling their ordeal with Verad made him shiver.  “But I understand the process, and your internal bleeding is already under control, I’ll just--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do… </span>
  <em>
    <span>nnhh-- </span>
  </em>
  <span>whatever you need to do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need me to carry Dax for a while?” Ezri said softly.  “I can do it.  I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can do it</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I cannot allow you to separate </span>
  <em>
    <span>my wife </span>
  </em>
  <span>into pieces,” Worf said, at the same time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julian considered the contrast in their temperaments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for your input, Worf,” he said, “but this is a decision for Ezri and Jadzia to make, on their own.  Besides, it will only be temporary, to allow </span>
  <em>
    <span>your wife </span>
  </em>
  <span>the time to heal.  I’ll need this room clear for surgical sterilization, now, if you don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was told </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>would only be temporary,” he remarked, flaring his nostrils in vague indication of Ezri. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saved her </span>
  <em>
    <span>life</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Ezri replied, firmly.  “And I’m gonna do that </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, right now.  What do you need me to do, Julian?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, dear,” Julian gave a grateful smile.  “My nurse will prepare you for surgery.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Julian did not lift visitation restrictions for more than ten hours after both his patients awoke.  He was their only company, watching over them and foreseeing every need.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Throughout the war, healing phaser burns had become something of an unfortunate specialty of his.  Jadzia’s wound was closed relatively quickly, and her transfusions continued on a strict schedule until she finally regained her former strength, and acceptable vital readings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Removing the symbiont was something he had practiced, too, and it was easier now than it had been with Verad.  This time, Dax knew its life was both at risk and obstructing its beloved Host’s recovery.  It felt a moment of safety within Julian’s hands before being slid into Ezri’s symbiotic chamber, rushing to tether itself in place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, Jadzia awoke before Ezri did.  She was teary and paranoid, requesting constant reassurance from Julian that things were going to be okay.  She remembered him clearly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>he was a competent surgeon, but the more Julian spoke to calm her, the more he realized how precarious her memories were.  Those formed in the short-term did not seem present at all; it seemed Dax had taken these with it, but he would not know for sure until Ezri was awake.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia could remember Worf, but was surprised to hear Julian refer to him as her husband.  She insisted she would prefer to see Benjamin, or no one at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Julian said, “I’ll call him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He might not recognize me.  He never met me when I was Idaris.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your unjoined name?” Julian asked.  “That’s beautiful.  And don’t worry, you don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>look </span>
  </em>
  <span>any different; not even a </span>
  <em>
    <span>scratch</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  Trust me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he pulled himself away from her, ready to send Benjamin a message from his computer, Ezri began to stir. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lieutenant Dax?” Julian asked, cautiously.  “How do you feel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sat on the edge of her bed, brought her hands to her chest to cover her newly-placed symbiont, then turned and saw Jadzia Idaris looking alone and afraid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.  Jadzia?  I’m here; </span>
  <em>
    <span>we’re here</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ezri rushed to stand watch, putting her hands tenderly on Jadzia’s shoulders, helping her to find gravity again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ezri Dax,” Jadzia said, reverently.  “I’m-- </span>
  <em>
    <span>so glad</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even through Jadzia’s tears, Ezri knew this was genuine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re gonna get through this,” Ezri said kindly.  “Just rest.  We’ll have our first counseling session when you feel strong enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jadzia’s eyes lit up, in a way Julian had not observed in years.  It was part mischievous, part familiar, and entirely charming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Jadzia said, in a quiet but spirited way, “I’m looking forward to it.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>his piece was written to reflect some of the other possibilities the production crew could have explored over the course of season six and seven, and would have allowed Terry Farrell to remain on the cast as a recurring character, while Jadzia phases in and out of therapy sessions.  We would have had more time to get to know Ezri Dax and see her relationship develop with the other characters, especially with regards to Worf and Julian.  I sometimes see resentment about the sudden changes unfairly directed at Nicole de Boer, when the real-world solution was not at all her choice, and I think she did a fabulous job with the intimidating task she was given.  In fact, working on this piece inspired me to put together a zine full of other options where Jadzia and Ezri could have co-existed.  Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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